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As a young political science student, I had to spend a lot of time in college learning about the American political system. The topic most covered… the ignorance of the American public. It didn’t matter if something was right or wrong. All that mattered is what the public wants. So if I am a Congressman from the 3rd District of South Carolina and my constituents want every 2nd Wednesday of the month to be “Beat the Living Shit Out of a Minority Day”, then there is a school of political thought that tells me that I had best get my secretary (who is probably having sex with me on the side) to start drafting said legislation. Why? Because I want to get re-elected so I can continue to have sex with my secretary (which technically could be considered government sponsored prostitution). In the world of politics, good and evil are all just moot points.

After 4 years of college, I grew frustrated. The public, ignorant of the world around them, would even have the audacity to go into the voting booth on Election Day and vote what is called a “straight party ticket”. That means that to vote, all a lazy American has to do is vote Republican or Democrat. Every candidate assigned to that party would be voted for. Adolf Hitler could be on the ballot and if he were a Republican (which I am sure he would be), then I could guarantee you that 33% of the Deep South would vote for him and not even realize it. We are dealing with a political process that allows dead people to vote. For those out there who have the intelligence to beat a grapefruit at a game of chess, you can even find a away to vote more than once. No one checks! No one cares! The voting process in Iraq is more secure!!! I think the voting process for American Idol is more secure! Hell, while we are at it, I could promise you that more people care about voting for American Idol then they care about who our next president is going to be. Well… maybe they will care after they have voted me into the White House!

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Golf clubs, Tampons, and unaided mathematical skill-testing questions. Poor Canadians can’t win at chance, so I sure hope they know their multiplication table!

So I’m using the restroom at work today, and as I always do while I’m in there (besides the obvious), I am reading something.  Now its important to understand that I’m obsessed with reading in the bathroom.  I have gotten to the point where I feel very lost in there without something to read.  I have also noticed that the smaller the type, THE BETTER!  Very often, I have found myself reading the back of the bottle of aspirin, or even the instructions for the ladies OB tampons.

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Shame on you General Mills!  Shame on you! I’m in the office the other day, and I receive an email from my boss which discusses advertising to children.  The email, which is actually a copy and paste from Advertising Age, talks about how food companies are circumventing traditional advertising by using new media to target kids directly.

This OBVIOUSLY sparks a huge debate between Dark Prism and I about advertising to children, parental responsibility, and corporate liability. After about 40 minutes of healthy on-the-man’s-clock discussion (oh ya, f@$k da man!), we mention the article-sited millsberry.com (an internet endeavor by General Mills) and I go freakin’ nuts!

What the hell is it with these cereal companies anyway!  Advertising to children? Please, that’s the least of my concerns. How about PROMOTING theft!

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